The Solo Serenade: My Journey of Self-Discovery

A strong, independent woman

For most of my life, I lived through words constantly thrown at me by friends who found out that I’m living on my own, with an apartment that I have no one to share with, and raising two dogs all by myself.  

I found myself trying to do all things alone, figure things out by myself, and eventually, I stopped relying on other people, even my own family. Living alone isn’t easy, but it’s the best, freest, most real I’ve ever been. Soon, I started taking myself out on weekend dates, visiting coffee shops that none of my friends would be interested in, and often going out alone.

For over two years, I flirted with the idea of traveling alone but I always ended up not doing it. With over two years of living alone, why was I so afraid of traveling by myself? As a fur parent, I stuck myself at home, looking out for the boys. But every time I see vacation photos of my friends in the middle of June, I can’t help but wonder… would I ever find the courage to pack my bags and leave? Just staring at the puppy eyes of my dogs made me want to ditch the plan, hole up in my room, and rewatch Gilmore Girls while cuddling with my pets.

For the following months, I pondered the idea of traveling alone. I’ve heard horror stories of a female solo traveler who got stuck in a bad place at a bad time… and so on. I even quit on social media for a while just to silence my mind about the trip. 

While mindlessly browsing social media, I stumbled upon an organization on Instagram. It was made for female solo travelers. I had fun browsing their photos and even went on to read their blogs. To my delight, I found the CEO and founder of the same Facebook group I belonged to. I immediately reached out to her.

The warmth of the community and the adventures shared amongst the group of women who like to travel the world inspired me. I’ve been in a rut for as long as I can remember, repeating the same routine over and over. 

My first solo trip!

One day, I opened my emails to get to work and something caught my eye. It was a newsletter from Tess, the founder of HerHouse, encouraging women to take their first trip domestically. I got to thinking, why not travel to my mother’s hometown? All the pictures of friends abroad that I’m seeing on social media are tempting, yes, but with the budget and the situation I have, it’s impossible to leave the country right away.

But, will I have the same magical experience that my friends in Singapore, Thailand, or Los Angeles had while traveling? I will never know until I go. That same day, I called my mother and asked her to take care of the dogs for me. When I told her where I was going, she immediately said yes. My mother always had a carefree, wanderlust spirit and seeing her daughter going to places made her excited.

I started packing my bags, including my laptop, thinking I could still work while I’m out there. The place I am going is not a stranger to me. I have childhood memories of these places during the family trips we had many years ago. But stepping back into this place, alone, as a young woman, made me feel enthusiastic. I feel like I’m giving another definition to the phrase strong, independent woman.

I traveled to the southernmost part of the Philippines, endless roads stood before me before I reached my first destination: the Parola that stood for hundreds of years. At 80 feet, I had a magnificent 360-degree view of the Pacific Ocean kissing the shorelines of Governor Generoso. 

The wind picked up while I was up in the lighthouse, and my knees trembled. I didn’t remember being scared the last time I was in here. Maybe it was the fact that I was alone. Maybe because this is my first solo trip ever. Maybe it was the inspiration kicking inside of me, urging me to pick up my pen and paint this magnificent view inside my mind. Nevertheless, I basked in the sun, wind, and saltwater in front of me. It was frightening but truly liberating.

After the visit to the lighthouse, I decided to spend the night in a cozy, family-run beach resort called Tiny Hauz in Lanca, Mati City. I’ve never been to this place, so I was really excited. I stayed in a Taripayag for the night and the locals prepared chicken dishes for my dinner and breakfast. The best thing about this resort is the dogs roaming around freely.

I played with them in the sand and shared food during the night. I learned that these dogs belong to the owner of the resort. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that these dogs know more about freedom than I do. They were free to go wherever they wanted. There’s no leash or cage that would stop them from bouncing from one place to another. Yet, they remain loyal to their owner.

It was Friday, so I had the beach all to myself. One of the things I dreaded about traveling alone is dealing with other tourists in a sardines-packed place. But this trip proved me wrong. The people I met were kind and helpful, and they made sure I enjoyed my stay there. I took pictures of the pink sky, the waves, the beach, and my cute outfit. My tripod was my date.

For the first time in a while, I wasn’t thinking about anything else. I wasn’t worried about my work, my rent, my bills, my dogs, and other things that often kept me occupied. I brought my laptop and haven’t even touched it since stepping into the sand. I was at peace with myself. I embraced the slow nights and quiet mornings. I loved basking in the sun without catching another deadline. I was with myself, alone, but peaceful.

All good things come to an end… I thought to myself while I was packing my things back into my duffel bag. I had to catch the bus for its last trip that would take me back to the city. Six hours of bus travel awaited me. But I knew in my heart that this trip was the start of a journey. I knew it’s not going to be my last solo trip. In my head, I’m already imagining myself visiting other places that I was so afraid to even think about before.

As I got home, I was greeted by a tornado of happy, jumping dogs who dearly missed their Mum. It warmed my heart to know that they were patiently waiting for me. I indulged in their sloppy, wet kisses and settled, feeling happy and content. I’ve been looking for a breath of fresh air for so many years and who knew I would find it in a small town where my mother grew up? This, I thought, is the magic of a solo trip. 

Are you needing some help preparing for a solo journey? Grab our Solo Woman Travel Guide today!